Death can be a difficult thing to accept, especially when it’s the death of someone close. It can be hard to spiral into grief and despair.
~~ Never mind a positive mentality, how do you get over the death of a loved one? ~~
Talk about it, if you can. Acknowledge and express your emotions and your thoughts, even if just in private, and make sure to surround yourself with people. Be patient with yourself and with the process, and make sure to take care of yourself.
There is said to be seven stages of grief:
Shock and disbelief
Pain and guilt
Depression, or despair
Of course, it doesn’t make it easier.
Guilt is a pervasive emotion, and while we are suffering grief from losing someone we know/loved, it can feel guilty to be happy.
~~ Is it okay to be happy during grief? ~~
Yes. While we are grieving, it is possible to feel conflicting emotions, including being happy while simultaneously grieving. But how can we possibly be happy?
It is okay to be happy when people are trying to cheer you up. It’s okay to be happy about other things in your life. Use the reality of the situation and have an attitude of gratitude to notice and appreciate the others around you.
It’s not wrong to not be consumed by grief at all moments of the day. It’s the way of our bodies and minds to help us cope. Perhaps it can be a way to remind ourselves to live our lives and carry on even after the death of a friend or loved one.
~~ How do you keep positive? ~~
It may be hard, but try to maintain your normal lifestyle, and make sure to take care of yourself. It might be the last thing you want to do, but try your best to stay social. Focus on what makes you happy, but cry if you want to. Preserve memories so that you can keep their memory alive, and talk with friends and family, or with a counselor.
Healing takes time, and it’s okay if you take longer than others. There is no set timetable for grief, and the process can last weeks, months, or years. You may start to feel better a little at a time, or maybe you won’t notice it. Everyone reacts differently to death, and each person may have their own personal coping mechanisms.
Find ways to honor the person who died, and remember the good times.
We are resilient, and we are strong.
And remember, you are never alone.